Yeah...I'm kinda sorta bored so I'm gonna post this story that I wrote a while ago...

Here's how it goes: Once upon a time there was a chipper ickle platypus named Xavier. Now childrens, Xavier absoLUTELY loved to swim in his river allllll day long, burrowing in the sand for ickle shrimpies and maybe some ickle mollusks to nourish his tum-tum. Then at night he would clamber into his cozy ickle burrow and dream of all the WONDERFUL things he would accomplish the next day. But one night he received an urgent phone call from his boss, Douglas. Douglas informed him that the local platypi population was being attacked by rampant unicorns. Again. Apparently, the unicorns had joined forces with the chipmunks and were attacking Xavier's platypus comrades. Xavier knew at once that he had to act quickly. After he finished his daily walrus mural, he strapped on his utility belt and hopped into his trusty platmobile. When he arrived at the scene, there was carnage everywhere: families of platypi were scurrying about in all directions, trying to find safety from their attackers. But the crafty unicorns had filled their burrows with seal blubber, which prevented the reentry of the citizens. Xavier quickly donned his cape and flew high up into the air. He injected venom from his hind foot into the chipmunks, and one by one they dropped joyfully to the ground. He had killed them dead. Then he decided to fire heat-seeking missiles at the fleeing unicorns. This obliterated them into nice ickle piles of ash. The bodies and carnage had to be cleaned up quickly for sanitary purposes. To avoid any unwanted confrontation with the Australian health department, he called his pals up at the local marshmallow distribution center to come & clean up the mess. Douglas thanked Xavier for saving his family and his comrades. Xavier then exploded from over-osmosis, caused by too much exposure to radioactivity. After this frightful episode, he regenerated, went on a rampage (in which many flowers were dreadfully embarrassed), and then went home to sleep peacefully in his cozy ickle burrow. As he slept, he dreamed of all the rapscallions he would terrorize the following morning. THE END!